There have been more times than I would like to admit when I have repeatedly thought false beliefs of lack, limitation, “not good enough”, etc. that in the end did nothing good but sabotage my blogging. I know I can’t be alone in doing this and as for someone who’s been there trust me when I say, I totally get it…you haven’t written in a while because point blankly you’re scared. I for one, am tired of living in that space…so I’ve moved out of that room in my head that was occupied with doubt, fear, not “good-enough”, not creative enough, blah blah blah you know how that story goes and I don’t want you to live there either. I’m here to tell you there’s others homes for you and they are absolutely beautiful! This post isn’t a fix it all, I don’t have all of the answers. What I do have is years of experience not putting myself out there and living in fear, yet I learned how to turn those negative thoughts into positive and powerful ones that drove me forward into taking action on my ideas. Now I want to share those with you to use the next time you are telling yourself LIES of limitation. Let’s get started.
“People will judge me”
I remembered being frightened that people from my job, school, acquaintances would read my work and judge it/me and bad mouth it behind my back. Since very young I considered myself a very private person so putting my thoughts for the world to read and judge made me feel exposed and violated in some way. So much so, that I even had a “terrifying” dream about a stranger looking at my Instagram behind me and showing it to another person who then began criticize it out loud . It might sound silly, but it really really terrified me at the time, so much so that I would have literally preferred a dream bathed in snakes (& i’m horrified of snakes!) than that one. Then it hit me, people are going to have an opinion about my life, work, appearance, etc., REGARDLESS! Yet who’s opinion is more important? others’ who I don’t know, who don’t have one single impact on my life or mines? Your voice inside your head is the only one that matters, so speak kind to yourself and be slow to JUDGE yourself! Then, if you believe in the content you are putting out into the world and truly believe that it is adding value to the lives of others then anybody else’s negative opinion is just wind in the background pushing you forward!
Quotes that apply to this:
“Your perception of me is a reflection of you; my reaction to you is an awareness of me.”
“If I make a fool of myself, who cares? I’m not frightened by anyones perception of me.”
“I don’t have a lot of readership, why bother?”
I’m not going to lie, there have been plenty of times when I got down on myself about how many comments I wouldn’t get, how many followers I didn’t have and many times it stemmed from comparison to other bloggers who were doing amazing and had tons of readers. It can be discouraging when you aren’t getting a lot of momentum on your blog and thinking that that is valid reason enough to not be so consistent. Yet this is the perfect time to remind yourself that everyone starts of somewhere! Your favorite bloggers where more than likely in your same shoes and most of them are quick to say that they did it because they absolutely loved doing it. So if you aren’t in love with the work that you are putting out maybe you need to reevaluate your “why”, vain reasons like “I want to be famous”, “I want to live a life of luxury”, “I want to travel the world”, etc. will only take you so far. When your “why” is bigger than you, you’ll find motivation to spit out content just for the sake of it. Which leads me to saying that after re-accessing your why reevaluate your goals…and perhaps like me you’ll find that you need to be more realistic. For example, my blogging goal was to have a high number of readers by the end of this year. I realized that focusing on “numbers” was of no use when really I was looking for connection. I want to connect with others and be a positive impact in those that read my posts, so if my posts can impact at least one person, just one person…then the goal of that post is accomplished! I know I can do that, and that leaves me happy and motivated to keep my posts coming!
” I have no clue what to write”
” I’m not creative enough”
(These thoughts then lead to you thinking you “
lack imagination“) Boy were these a load of crap, and the most damaging thoughts of all because they completely block you from hearing all of the ideas already roaming inside you. If you are currently or consistently telling yourself this I hope what I say next inspires you to switch these thoughts for more positive ones. First, lets clear up what inspiration is…when we hear someone getting inspired we usually picture actively doing something then they get a “light bulb moment” and rushing to write it down, and their pen can’t write fast enough. Sure, sometimes that does happen but thats hardly ever the case for many. Inspiration comes slowly, quiet looking and thinking is the imagination letting in ideas. So I ask that you think and ask yourself:
- “How do I relax?”
- “How do I slow down?”
- “Where is my favorite place to write?”
Asking yourself these questions will lead you to your way of creative self reflection. For ex. my favorite way to relax and slow down is to go out into nature with my journal. I don’t set an intention for what I’ll write, I just let my ideas come to mind and whether they do or don’t I don’t judge myself or what I write. Go to that place you love to write in, and go there consistently. Your best ideas are sure to come, just trust that they will.
“People won’t understand”
Sometime thoughts like “people might think I’m crazy, if I write what I really think”, or “they just won’t understand”. Put simply, when you’re yourself, you give people permission to be themselves. I know its scary being vulnerable when that means there are a ton of chances you’ll get hurt by being so. Yet, the most rewarding connections will be built by people feeling like they can connect with you just when they thought THEY were alone. Be the brave one, to assure others that they aren’t alone in their struggles of fear, self-doubt, insecurities, etc., by sharing your story!
“What if _____________“
Usually anything following a what if in our minds hardly ever is followed by anything good. Its usually followed with thoughts of fear like “what if no one enjoys reading what I write” “what if people think it’s stupid” blah blah blah. However, if “what ifs” aren’t responded to correctly and quickly defused, they tend to spiral out of control. Before you know it, these what “ifs” have triggered a rush of adrenaline and fear. You can’t always control the initial thoughts of “what if” but you can always control your response to them. A good response to a “what if” is: “so what!”
“What if people think what I wrote is stupid”
“So what! I’ve done my research, and double checked the spelling. If they think it’s stupid, they think its stupid… I don’t”
“What if someone trolls on my content”
“So what! I’ll send them love and move on.”
If “so what” doesn’t feel like the appropriate response for you, then come up with your own response like “whatever” or “oh well.” The important thing is to have a dismissive attitude toward your fears.
I hope that you implement these tips and that they help you the next time you are feeling a little uninspired. Nip these thoughts in the butt and don’t let them convince you that you don’t have anything important to say or do! The world needs more people to spread their love and passions. Stay blessed 🙂