- They give you backhanded compliments. Say you both are at the mall shopping for an outfit, you come out of the dressing room to show your friend the new dress you happen to like and she says “Wow, you look far thinner in that dress” while this seems to come out as a compliment it is phrased in such a way that also makes you question your figure. A compliment is a polite expression of praise and admiration, a “friend” wouldn’t give you a compliment with underlying hate. In this case its best to ask “well what do you mean?” and clear up any misunderstanding, but also don’t live for others compliments that you die of their criticism.
- You share things about yourself and get nothing in return. Say you’ve been hanging out with a certain person whom you feel you can trust, and they question you on various occasions on deeply personal topics, feeling that you can open up to them you share your experiences…they offer insight but no experiences of their own. Friends are there to give you support, insight, and to share common experiences to help each other grown as people. Why would you want someone around questioning your life as if they’re a detective and not a friend?
- You’re always “spotting” them.If your friend doesn’t have much money, then you can both meet in the middle and do things that are within both of your budgets. However, you shouldn’t be an ATM for someone else on a consistent basis.
- When you need them they’re busy without putting an effort to help.
- Don’t invite you out with them ever. You watch their social media and always see them out with other people and their excuse for you is “well I didn’t think you would want to go” or something along those lines.
- You go out with them and don’t look out for you. Friends should look out for each others best interests. Say you’re out drinking, and you take one too many shots…a good friend wouldn’t let you go home with a random stranger, leave you outside on the curb, lose track of you, or make you do anything you wouldn’t do sober. Hey it happens to everyone, sometimes a calm night out turns into a wild one and while its no one else’s responsibility to look after us…it speaks loud on others character to leave you hanging out and dry when you aren’t coherent of your actions.
- They don’t tell you “text me when you get home”. Sure many people say this, and by the time you text them late at night they usually are asleep and don’t text back. Even though they don’t text back its the moral of the gesture that say, hey I care for your well being…let me know you made it home ok.
- They drop you off and don’t watch you walk to your front door.
- They don’t try to meet you outside of common interests. Say one of your “friends” bond over art, however overtime you invite them to do other hobbies or interests they always turn down the idea. Perhaps you need to help them get out of their comfort zone, but do make sure that they don’t stop you from pursuing your interests.
- They sabotage your goals. Nothing is worse than surrounding yourself around people who sabotage your goals and dreams by making you doubt yourself or filling your head with fears. This is just people portraying their own insecurities, fears, and doubts onto you. Make sure you are around people who push you to fill your potential and reach new heights you didn’t even know you could reach. Anything less than that is cheating yourself out of greatness.
Great friends do:
- Balance each other out.
- Make each others day better.
- Motivate each other.
- Show appreciation.
- Neither of you have a single doubt of loyalty.
In conclusion, friendships are supposed to be fun after all “happiness isn’t real until its shared” so having quality people around you is important, but you must also be sure that the people around you are providing substance and not just operating on the surface. In the end if they’re not helping you grow what purpose are they fulfilling in your life? Please understand I’m not talking about acquaintances…acquaintance as defined in the dictionary is a person known to one, but usually not a close friend. Having many acquaintances is great, these are people who you interact with for particular activities, such as work, partying, business, etc. Now friends are those you surround yourself on a consistent basis, genuine people you want to have in your life for as long as possible. Those that regardless of the distance you will always be close to heart, and maybe you haven’t seen each other in a while but you can catch up and it’ll be like you picked up right where you left off. Surround yourself with quality people to share tons of laughs with, make new memories and ultimately get a higher vibration in life, lifting each other higher.